kyarorain: (korosensei)
I think I'm going to sound like a giant hypocrite by saying this, especially seeing as I have written fanfiction MSTs in the past, but... making fun of bad fanfiction really isn't a cool thing to do. It's immature.

Yes, I know there's a lot of bad fanfiction out there but people have no right to bash it and make fun of the people repsonsible for it. They might really hurt their feelings by doing it too. Everyone has to start somewhere. Their first works might not be so good, but people improve over time. Of course, there are exceptions.

I just don't think sporking or MSTing other people's fanfiction is really a cool thing to do anymore. Everyone has a right to write what they want and share it with the world. It might make you puke, it might make you want to cry, scream or throw things, but in the end, it's someone else's work they went to the trouble of writing and putting on the Internet. If anything, you should be giving them constructive criticism and encouraging them to improve. Though I guess some people just don't want to improve.

I know this is going to sound dumb... but someone in a certain fandom was talking about sporking fanfiction for the fandom... it made me feel a bit ill, to be honest. I doubt I was one of the targets (ooh look at me and my big head... but seriously, I'd like to think the quality of my writing nowadays is high enough I wouldn't be a target for sporkings >.>)

I just don't like the idea there's someone in my fandom who would actively go around picking on fellow fandom members' fanfiction. Meh. Everyone should be allowed to write freely without being concerned about people watching out for bad fanfiction and being ready to pounce at a moment's notice to tear apart their terrible fanfiction.

Maybe I just feel a bit more sensitive thanks to the experiences with that horrible fandom these days. Sigh. It really hurt my feelings and I don't want to go through anything like that again. I want to do whatever I like without being afraid of criticism.

In short, pointing out the flaws of a fanfiction and criticising it is absolutely fine. But tearing it to shreds with mocking comments is another thing altogether. Though I think there's a difference between playing it for laughs and outright bashing. The important thing is to keep it funny and... not bash too hard. I guess? I dunno... if your only purpose in doing it is to bash the author or the writing, you're doing it wrong. If you're doing it for comedy purposes, it's maybe not too bad...

I'm not really planning to put my MSTs back on The Adepts of Weyard though. I dunno, I just don't really think it's right to show them off anymore.

Stuff

Nov. 23rd, 2015 01:16 pm
kyarorain: (korosensei)
It's a crappy, rainy Monday and I'm just going to indulge myself in pizza and alcoholic fizz, yay~ (sparkling rosé, it's yummy~)

I moved some entries from another journal over here because it drowned in Twitter reposts. x_x Not doing the Twitter repost to LJ anymore, it just gets way too spammy. So, I think I'll maybe try posting in here more often. Let's see how that goes, shall we?

Considering switching over to my other Twitter too. I just... feel more comfortable over there. I can say whatever I like. I can gush over Kyousuke x Riki and fawn over how cute crossdressing Riki is and not be bothered about people who look down on that sort of thing. Sometimes, I feel a bit iffy about Key fandom too, but I don't feel like getting into that. Tumblr's fine though. Funny how Tumblr is the only place I'm not having issues with in this fandom. After all, Tumblr drove me away from another fandom which shall not be named... I guess it just depends on the fandom.

It's sad how dead the Golden Sun fandom is... yeah, it's alive in some places. Not quite dead and buried yet. You can still find them here and there. I feel very nostalgic for the old days of fandom quite often. Nostalgia is a pain indeed. I don't know about rejoining them on Tumblr... I have issues. =/ I actually get really paranoid about following Ace Attorney blogs and there are people in the GS fandom on Tumblr with connections to the bad fandom too so I don't think I can bring myself to. Shame Tumblr ruined so much for me.

So, uh, what was the entry about? Good question...

I want to try drawing again.My tablet is dusty and hasn't been used in... well, forever. Not that I'm great at drawing...

NaNo woes

Oct. 12th, 2015 04:06 pm
kyarorain: (Karis)
I'm stumped on what to do for NaNoWriMo. My imagination is not helping with its desire for angsty, dark and edgy stuff.

Sometimes all I want to do is churn out darkness and angst. Slice of life and humour is great and all, but there are times when I want to write more gritty stuff. Problem is, it usually seems to turn out... not so great? I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong, to be honest.

I don't know. I think a lot of stuff might have just been bad because of my old writing style. I haven't written anything super serious lately, and I think my serious Pokémon fics were mostly well received anyway.

I'm thinking more of Golden Sun, but that was years ago... the worst one was probably that one fanfic I refuse to ever re-upload, the steaming pile of crap I wrote for NaNoWriMo 2006. Out of characterness and idiot balls galore. Sigh. Let's not talk about that.

I moved on to Pokémon after that. One fanfic I wrote in particular was pretty... eh, and the sequel was even worse. So I trashed the sequel, went back to the original, and rewrote it. I think I tended to be a bit over the top in the past, and I'd often have villains who were evil just for the sake of being evil.

Anyway... 50,000 words of nothing but slice of life and humour is... well. Visual novel writers can do it, sure. I just kind of have a hard time writing so much of it. I seem to have a hard time writing 50,000 words of anything decent. ._. NaNo just makes my brain fall to pieces. orz

Adaptation

Sep. 27th, 2015 08:29 am
kyarorain: (Little Busters)
Ahh, Livejournal, the final place where I feel I can be honest without pissing people off or making them think I am an awful person or whatever.

So, a Rewrite anime was announced and it is being animated by 8bit, the same people who mangled Grisaia. Naturally, people are in despair. I'm not.

To be honest, I feel like I'll laugh so hard if the Rewrite adaptation ends up being worse than the Little Busters adaptation. I almost want the annoying Rewrite fans to be crying bitter tears into their cereals as they suffer through godawful episode after godawful episode and watch their precious Rewrite be utterly ruined. Serves them right for being annoying.

Ugh. The way some people put it on a pedestal and act like IT'S DA BEST THING EVAR!!!11! ALL OTHER KEY WORKS SUCK COMPARED TO IT ESPECIALLY LITTLE BUSTERS HUR DUR, it cheeses me off. Rewrite isn't even that great. And I hate how some people have to trash Little Busters at the same time.

It makes me sad to see people hating on Little Busters. ._. They are my precious babies and I love them so much. I really, really love Little Busters, it has a special place in my heart, and to see people calling it garbage, it hurts.

Little Busters couldn't even have a good adaptation. Okay, the second season wasn't so bad, but the first season was mediocre at best. A lot of people ended up dropping it in the first season and now so many people are probably thinking Little Busters is the worst Key work ever no thanks to the adaptation. Ugh.

That's probably part of the reason I almost want it to suck. Little Busters didn't get decently adapted, why should Rewrite? I kinda wanted Deen to get Rewrite, but apparently 8bit is also bad enough, so okay then. Do your worst, 8bit.

I am an irrational, terrible person, I know. I just don't care about Rewrite and find all this hype annoying.

EDIT: Oh, it's even directed by the same person who directed Grisaia. >:3 People are bawwing over it, and I'm just like "LOL". Cry moar.

Geez...

Sep. 23rd, 2015 03:22 pm
kyarorain: (Pikachu)
I found an even easier way to recover fanfiction from Archive Team's fanfiction warc archives. Never mind downloading the entire thing, just use the warctozip site, download the json file and get the byte offset number, add the size, and hey presto, you get just the file you want. Much more convenient than downloading the entire warc. I wish I'd known that but... they kinda just expect you to know how to download things, apparently.

I re-added the fanfiction from Empress Venus and Crystal Dreams. Honestly, I'm not sure why I bothered with Crystal Dreams's fic, but, eh, people did like the fic so why not. I remember getting a review for that fic which was basically just an ellipse. An ellipse. Yeah.

Maybe it meant "oh my god, I love incest fanfiction so much and I was absolutely blown away by this incredible incest fanfiction, and am so happy someone wrote incest for Golden Sun that I am lost for words" ... mmm, probably not.

XD Hey, I did warn!

And I also got Eclipse of Sanity's fanfiction back when I found a new fanfiction archive that had been added on the site. Awesomesauce. I'd pretty much given up on that... and yet I was still Googling for further fanfiction related progress from the Archive Team this morning. Just because.

So, that's even more fanfiction restored. Goody. I love the Archive Team, they are the best.
kyarorain: (Maya Fey)
Hmm, I'm wondering if I should redo some lost fanfiction.

Stretchy image of doom )

Reference so I can backdate them. Because.

They weren't exactly behemoths after all. >_> Should be easy enough to rewrite them. Actually, I'll just redo the Hama drabble and the Amiti/Eoleo one as well as that Matthew/Sveta fic, the Felix/Piers wasn't terribly interesting... why was it even tagged as Felix/Piers anyway? I don't remember it being shippy at all. o_o Geez, self.

I kind of feel like writing GS fanfiction again for some reason. Weird. o_o Eh, let's see what I can do.

Ugh, I totally hit ctrl+w while writing this and closed the browser. Yay for Dreamwidth autosaving drafts.

Being kind of lazy with fanfic writing lately... I should get back to that Maya fic one day. Not sure how to end it really. I'll think of something.

Got the upload date for the Matthew/Sveta.

11th Feb 2013
Summary: She's the Queen of a country and her heart belongs to him. If only it could be that easy...

Word count was only 264... yeah, this shouldn't be any trouble. I remember most of it.
kyarorain: (Karis)


This isn't mine, but I still like to think this image is accurate. >_>

Yeah, Camelot would clearly rather make Mario sports games than Golden Sun games. -.- Well, maybe next year, eh?

Golden Sun: The Lost Age was released in 2003, Golden Sun: Dark Dawn was released in 2010.

Next year is 2016... crap. Maybe the year after that then. :D;

Hard to believe so much time has gone by since then, wow. It's really been 5 years since Dark Dawn was released.

Seriously, Camelot, get on with it already. T_T Release another Golden Sun game...

Revival

Aug. 27th, 2015 03:14 pm
kyarorain: (Default)
I made a new journal, huh. Time to start over~ It's a fresh start, even if Livejournal is like, dead and stuff. I think. Well, not completely anyway... but a lot of the people I used to hang out with on this site have moved on elsewhere.

The Golden Sun community is pretty dead here too. I think it's only really alive on Tumblr and I'm not fond of Tumblr these days for personal reasons. Let's just say I joined the wrong fandom and leave it at that, yeah?

I wimped out and deleted my last one for pretty dumb reasons, oh well. ^^;

This is mostly gonna be full of my Tweets when I use my Twitter account but I guess I might think of other stuff to post here. We'll see.

Maybe I'll post fanfiction. So glad to have my fanfiction back after I deleted it all o_o; Whatever was I thinking? T_T

Whoah, I think I nearly posted to a community. That would have been very embarrassing indeed, yahaha... not really used to this new LJ interface. Yes, it's still new to me. I mostly post in Dreamwidth nowadays.
kyarorain: (Default)
I can't say I like this content policy Blogger has. o_o

Okay, so if you write adult stuff, you're supposed to put an adult warning on it, or the blog might be marked as adult. Fair enough, that's absolutely fine. I have no problem with that whatsoever and completely understand why.

What I don't understand is that they actually forbid certain adult content anyway. Even textual! (Which is the only kind of adult content I particularly want to see at any point, frankly... not keen on pr0n imagery.)

So, what do they forbid? Incest, bestiality, necrophilia and rape. (Not underage?) Seriously? So, even if you mark it as adult, you can't post any kind of fiction with those four particular themes. That's some bullcrap alright. I don't see what the harm is in writing incest, bestiality, necrophilia or rape...

... Totally written all of those at one point, yep~ I used to be so fucked up :D;;;

They are considered illegal sexual content apparently. Even if it's just text. Yeah, that's nuts. You could find that kind of stuff easily enough on FF.net (pfft, mods, what mods?) or AO3 or Tumblr, etc. Why is it even illegal? o_o

Not like I'm going to post weird smut on Blogger, but I don't feel very comfortable about posting fanfiction on there now. I don't like sites that try to restrict the fanfiction you post. IMO, fanfiction, and original fiction too, shouldn't have any restrictions on it. Just have them slap an adult warning on it and call it a day.

I don't think it's really right to restrict what you can post on your own blog either, provided you use the right filters for it when required. Except you shouldn't be allowed to post *that* of course. Not that you should possess *that* in the first place. It's illegal after all.

Blogger is dumb. End of story.

... It's also stupid that Customs in certain countries won't let you import obscene manga with certain content like those mentioned above. Like, why? Importing an incest manga doesn't mean you're going to bonk your sister. Importing a bestiality manga doesn't mean you like to bonk the family dog. It's just silly and I don't get it at all. Let people read whatever the hell they want. It's not hurting anyone.

Ooh~

Jun. 23rd, 2015 03:07 pm
kyarorain: (Default)
I was searching for other Internet archives, found this Memento archive and searched my FF.net URL. I ended up finding this archive of my profile from 2010, during my Pokémon fandom days, and I can even see my favorite stories on it. Nifty. Those Sonic fanfics I favorited are even there. I did a purge of favorited Sonic fics and ended up kinda wishing I hadn't... :/

(this is a very bad habit, isn't it? ._.)

It doesn't look like the fanfics themselves are archived, and really the only stuff there I didn't retrieve are shitty Golden Sun fanfics I had already deleted for being shit and a couple of old Sonic fanfics, so it's no big deal.

Still, it's nice to have an old copy of my profile floating around. :D

Here's the link:

http://wayback.archive-it.org/all/20100403070134/http://www.fanfiction.net/u/22890/Kyarorain

It's from before I reached 100 fanfics, ehe... you know, I'd probably have reached 100 even sooner if I didn't keep deleting my fanfiction.

Anyway, I'm happy to have an older list of my favorite fics. Yay~ O/ 236 stories, wow o-o They would take forever to readd... who cares, let's do it. For all I know, this archive site could one day disappear. Your data is never truly safe online. Never. Not even archives of it.

Fuck robots.txt.

Pathetic

Jun. 4th, 2015 08:02 am
kyarorain: (Default)
Wow, this is kind of sad.

Anyway, I have a Tumblr just to follow some blogs. I'm not really interested in posting on it right now. So, I followed a couple of Ace Attorney blogs...

Then I started seeing AA blogs in the recommended blogs listing and it made me nervous. So I unfollowed them anyway.

Even seeing a video game blog be recommended is making me nervous for some stupid reason.

I'm still afraid of seeing names of blogs from that horrible fandom. Seriously, I'd probably have a mild panic attack and delete the blog in an instant. =/

This is so dumb, I know, but I really, really can't handle being reminded of it. ._. I don't want to be. I want to be very, very far away.

Going back to hanging around the Golden Sun fandom on Tumblr definitely isn't an option. Ehh, I don't think it's so much that I want to, just feeling nostalgic for the old days when I hung out on Invisionfree forums for GS and participated in author chats on AIM/MSN... Nostalgia's a pain. .-.

Eh. Let's try to get back to that writing stuff I was gonna do, shall we?
kyarorain: (Maya Fey)
Hmm, I kinda want to post fanfiction on Selenia again.

That's my current AO3 account that's not being used for my main fandom. Actually, I want to post fics for my main fandom on there too... you see, I am insane and want to reach 2 million words. Yes, seriously insane. \O/ I'm already at 1 million, so why the hell not?

I also have a strong desire to write Ace Attorney fanfiction. Lots of crack fanfiction. I'm kinda in an Ace Attorney mood... it does suck not having the games on hand. Eh, I'm waiting until I actually get a landline then I'll buy the 3DS compilation and download it. Living in a brand new house sucks.

I can't even get online deliveries from most local supermarkets. ;_; (Except Sainsbury's. Sainsbury's, you are my hero.)

I love crack. \O/ I will fill the world with crack!

Let's bring Selenia back to life... although it seems odd saying I'll bring it back to life when it was originally a sockpuppet and basically became a dumping ground for my fics after nuking my main account.

There was something really, really sad about seeing my word count drop to under 1 million. Sure was a good thing I managed to get my deleted fanfiction back.

It's safe to post Ace Attorney stuff, isn't it? ... Yeah, it should be fine. It's Tumblr that's dangerous. I can't touch Ace Attorney on Tumblr. I might still freak if I see any names from that horrible fandom, so I want to do my best to avoid it. It's sad, I know, but I really, really don't want to see any trace of them.

Okay, let's... try and write! O/ Operative word being 'try'.

EDIT: I also now want to write Tiger & Bunny... I think. I've never actually written anything for Tiger & Bunny though, hmm.

Maybe I should check out the kink memes... yay, kink memes~

Ehh, never mind T&B, the kink meme is pretty dead and I'm not sure how well I could write for it. Let's stick to Ace Attorney.

I'm not really so versatile that I can write fanfiction for anything I like, unfortunately. That was a problem when I signed up for Yuletide twice in the past, because you had to sign up to write for at least 4/5 different fandoms x_x (small fandoms, therefore excluding fandoms such as Golden Sun or Pokemon) Not so easy for me. And the second time I signed up, I got matched with a placeholder fandom I didn't really want to write for (it was only there to fulfil the minimum of five fandoms...)
kyarorain: (Maya Fey)
Hmm, I randomly remembered an old Ace Attorney oneshot I had in the works... I don't have it anymore. I deleted my Ace Attorney fics and threw out all my stuff related to it as well (not that I had much of it anyway) because I was trying to leave it behind, it being closely related to that horrible fandom and all. *shudder* The horrible fandom that scarred me forever and gave me severe issues with Tumblr.

Eh, except I still like Ace Attorney. Whoops. And totally want to buy the 3DS compilation so I can replay the first three games. I had them on DS but sold them. ^^'

I didn't have a lot of fanfiction for it. Just that pointless fic about Detective Badd which I recovered, and a crack fic making fun of Phoenix for looking like a hobo in the Apollo Justice game. ... Good to see I didn't lose any literary masterpieces then! Yeah, I wasn't too prolific for AA.

The oneshot wasn't a silly humour fic though. It was actually about Maya channeling this guy's dead wife and... uh, well, let's say he kinda sorta commits necrophilia... and Maya deals with the shock of learning what happened to her body. IDK, I thought it would be an interesting subject... but poor Maya tho =(

I couldn't think of where to go after that though. I had Maya taking to Mia and then... ?????? Totally stumped.

But now I've remembered it, I want to revisit it. No, self, come on. D: But, man, if I had any talent for writing courtroom stuff, a case could totally be made out of whether it constituted as rape or not. But, eh, I don't have enough faith in my writing abilities. orz

(Yeah, I would consider it rape since it's Maya's body and she never consented to sex, but what if the accused and the prosecutor contested that since Maya was possessed by a consenting soul, it wasn't?)

Sigh. Why was I so delete happy... dammit.

EDIT: I just realized... I screwed up. If Maya was the one pressing charges, then she would be on the prosecutor's side! x_x It would be the defense attorney claiming shit. Man, I'm dumb. orz

So, Nick wouldn't be defending Maya in court or anything, ahahaha :D;

Yatta!

Sep. 24th, 2014 02:47 pm
kyarorain: (Default)
I did it!



I FINALLY DID IT!

I spent all fecking morning and most of the afternoon tinkering around and trying to open the bloody warc file. In the end, I tried this warctozip site. I uploaded the warc files to a server, told it where the warc was, and got a handy zip file with the extracted files in.

In the end, it was. so. fucking. simple. Just turn the megawarc files back into a tar file, extract the relevant warc folder, upload it to warctozip site and get a zip. *sob* That was all I needed to do. All that running around, downloading gits, running Python, playing with warc proxies and whatnot... ARGH. I've just been running around like a headless chicken.

Well, now I have the bloody files.

Now excuse me while I go do other things for a while because I just feel really sick of all this right now and want to do other things. I'll restore them another time, promise.

... I was really lucky this archive existed. If it hadn't been for the Archive Team, my fanfiction would have been lost forever. Phew. Sigh... I wish I wasn't so delete happy.

EDIT: (Just making notes for reference)

Empress Venus is located in warc-08 at https://archive.org/details/archiveteam-fanfiction-warc-08

I can't find Eclipse of Sanity anywhere. Weird... I even tried searching with the user id but no dice.

EDIT 2: Hell, why not, I looked for that other account too.

Crystal Dreams is in warc-16 https://archive.org/details/archiveteam-fanfiction-warc-16

Still can't find Eclipse of Sanity. I guess they didn't archive every single account, huh... what a pity. I'd rather that account had been saved over Crystal Dreams. e_e Geez.

GAAAAH

Sep. 23rd, 2014 07:59 am
kyarorain: (Default)
Argh. God fucking damn it.

Apparently this warc thing is way more complicated than I thought and I tried to find ways to browse or open a warc file properly, and then this morning I found out it's something called a megawarc and I need to restore it to the original file? Except I need the gz file, which I already extracted then deleted. UGH. So now I need to download that fucking 46 GB file all over again. Dammit.

I probably shouldn't have deleted it, but 46 GB? Come on, my computers aren't overflowing with terabytes. D: I want the space. Sigh.

Why does all this have to be so fucking complicated? I just wanted to get my fanfiction back.

Salvation?

Sep. 21st, 2014 05:36 pm
kyarorain: (Default)


See this 46 GB monster?

That's a freaking archive of selected Fanfiction.net stories from 2012. According to the files list, all my fanfiction I had up on FF.net during that period in 2012 should indeed be in there. I have to wait 24 hours for this to finish. It better actually fucking work.

Let me tell you the saga of my never ending quest to recover my fanfiction.

Scouring hard drives with file recovery programs did little good. Asking Google Drive support about recovering deleted files did no good. I didn't even bother asking Dropbox because I knew what the answer would be. With those options exhausted, I looked for archive options.

Oh, hey! This guy archived the entirety of Archive of Our Own in 2013! Awesome! Let's download this file. Oh, it won't open? Okay, try the torrent. Won't open either. Email the guy. Try some fixes. No good. Guy says file is corrupted... and he doesn't even have the original files used to make the archive. Uhhh... great archiving skills, buddy. Sure, the whole thing was 18gb, but would it have hurt to keep a reliable backup somewhere instead of putting complete trust in a zip file?

Looked around on archive.org some more. Oh, there's a backup of Fanfiction.net? Awesome. I even managed to find the archive with my own stories in there pretty quickly. Ugh, 46 GB... I had to move a bunch of files onto other drives, on my desktop. I even uninstalled the Sims 2 :| ... well, I wasn't really playing it, and about all I had done since installing it recently was send a Sim on a date. Apparently I didn't miss it as much as I thought.

Started it on my Linux netbook, the one that actually has a decent amount of space available. UGet crapped up and restarted the download after like 2GB (could have been worse, could have done it at 40...) so I had to switch over to my desktop and try a different download manager. And... here we are.

I fully expect a meteor to hit my house or something because fate apparently does not want me to get my fanfiction back. I swear to God, this archive had better work and not be fucking corrupted, otherwise I'm seriously gonna be pissed. *knocks wood*

People had better be grateful if it works out and I manage to recover my fics. ... Well, alright, I'm doing this for myself too. When I was depressed, I couldn't stop thinking about my deleted fanfiction. It was so painful. If I get depressed again, I don't want that... it was really, really awful.

It's not exactly a perfect replacement for my deleted files, but it's good enough. I wasn't too prolific with GS fanfiction after 2012... all I can really think of that will be missing from uploaded fanfiction is a Hama drabble (it was about her mom dying of grief after giving Ivan away), a Felix & Piers fic (it was just talking after the end of the game or something? Since it wasn't a humour fic, I'm not that bothered... I missed my humour stuff more than anything else.), some pointless Eoleo/Amiti fic which was just Amiti randomly drooling over Eoleo (fuck plot), a Matthew/Sveta ficlet with them in Sveta's room talking about how Sveta's status as the Queen of Morgal complicated their relationship... ...yeah, that's about it, I think. I have an amazing memory.

There are a bunch of fics in there I originally removed for being shitty. Oh, you know what, I really don't give a damn anymore. I'll just stick them up regardless of how shitty they are because if I do end up picking out fics and throwing them away, I'll probably end up with like ten fics left. e_e No being picky, self. I'll upload every single damn one of them. Yes, even the one with non-consensual incest! I really don't want to though? ;_;

Ugh, why did I even delete anything in the first place? I really wish I hadn't.

This better work. This is *my last hope*. There are no other avenues to explore. ... I did contact a computer savvy friend to ask if they could do anything with the corrupted 7zip but they haven't got back to me, and I don't expect that to yield results, honestly.

Eclipse of Sanity and Empress Venus's stuff are probably in some other archives. Haven't located them yet... Kyarorain takes priority. There's one more account, but. Uh. No. That one single fic on there can just stay disappeared. I am not downloading a several gig file for a single fucking Oopsieshipping fic! Yup, I wrote Leaves. Now, leave me alone...

... I punned. Sorry.

Um. I'm really rambling, huh? o_o Yeah, I think I've said enough now. If this works out, I'll go celebrate in my Golden Sun blog. So glad I was able to undelete it. I would be pretty bummed if it was all gone. ... Even if I did read some old entries a few days ago and had to close the tab when something made me feel ill. e_e Gosh, I was so fucked up back then.

Sorry #2

Sep. 11th, 2014 08:05 pm
kyarorain: (Default)
I hate it.

I hate getting into those moods where I want to delete stuff and I'm totally okay with it, but later on I regret it.

I've always been doing this shit.

Deleting old journal posts. I cleared out my entire Pokémon journal on Insanejournal, that had over a thousand posts or so (I think?) and a ton of userpics because I lost interest in the anime. I deleted journal entries from my other journals and I'd be running around looking on Google cache and web archive trying to recover some of them.

I deleted so much fanfiction. And my Tumblrs. All those posts, gone. I even nuked my Livejournal.

Dammit. Why do I do this?

I'm so sick of this.

I wish I could just go back in time and save it all, and stop myself from getting into that nasty fandom too. But all I can do is regret and regret...

It sucks.

I'm sorry for being a shitty person.

I wish I could undo it all, but I can't.

I feel so miserable but there's nothing I can do.

Sorry. I'm really sorry.

Sorry.

Sep. 10th, 2014 12:12 pm
kyarorain: (Default)
I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I deleted everything.

I do have regrets, but there's nothing I can do now. I can't go back into the past and undo it all.

I can't un-delete my forum or Tumblrs or journal posts or DeviantArt or fanfiction or anything... I kinda wish I could, but.

I think I was in a really bad place or something, and I did some pretty rash things, and I just. Yeah.

Sorry for being a messed up person. =/
kyarorain: (Default)
I nuked my Livejournal. I just didn't really want it anymore, I guess. Didn't like their crappy new layout anyway. I sure have been nuking a lot of stuff lately, huh... I just want all the past stuff to disappear, I guess. Something like that. The past is so embarrassing. I even went through my Golden Sun site to delete all the crappy humour. Ugh, such terrible "humour". My fanfiction was terrible too. That's all gone now.

I don't want to be Kyarorain anymore either. Kyarorain's dead. Yup, good and gone. I'm never going back. The past is in the paaaast! ... No, self, don't start quoting Let It Go.

Speaking of Let It Go, I might be a tad insane (some things never change...) but I feel like I can empathize with some of the lyrics. No, my parents didn't lock me in a castle my whole life to hide my powers. I was... in a really horrible fandom, with some horribly elitist and nasty people... and, well... it's nice to not be in that fandom anymore and be in another fandom and just let myself go and have fun. I don't have to be concerned about people complaining if I post random nonsense on the tags. (Yes, it's Tumblr related, surprise surprise.) It was so bad I wish I'd never, ever joined that fandom. Yes, I'm equating my escape from a horrible fandom to a magical ice using queen's escape from the burden of hiding her powers. Told ya I'm insane.

It kinda fucked me up. ._. I can't even go near people in certain other fandoms because then I might see the people from that nasty fandom around. I actually tried making another blog to rejoin the Golden Sun fandom and then I saw a Golden Sun Tumblr person actually joining in with the horrible fandom. I freaked out, nuked my new blog and ran very far away. Hell of an overreaction, I know. It's just... if I see the names of certain people on Tumblr, I actually feel physically ill. That's how bad it is. I can't stand the idea of seeing any of them around.

I have to be careful about who I follow. Yes, I'm that bad. I'm only in certain quiet little fandoms now and they are nice and safe. Safe fandoms, yay~

I'm probably a screwed up person. Oh well.

Well, enough about that. I'm trying to leave the past behind and just kind of move on with other things. I know I've gone a bit nuts with nuking things. I just don't really like the person I used to be. Certain aspects of that... it's like, how the hell could I be that bad? Yeah. I just feel better erasing everything.

That's all. This was just a shitty post by someone looking back on the trials and tribulations of their past. I'm satisfied with the person I am now, so yay~
kyarorain: (Serra)
I just find it really goddamn hilarious that Lucina and Owain (who are cousins) getting married in the Japanese version of FE:Awakening was actually censored in the US version so that they became "companions" rather than husband and wife.

*gasp*

Cousins getting married in a videogame of all things! How absolutely scandalous and dreadful! Just what the hell do they think this is, Fire Emblem?!

... oh wait.

We've had so much worse than cousins getting married in previous Fire Emblem games so it really strikes me as hilarious that they would go to the trouble of censoring it. Lucina x Owain seems so innocent compared to Priscilla fangirling her brother or the implied twincest in Sacred Stones (heck, the localization team actually increased the subtext in one support between the twins, changing hair touching to face touching.)

And don't even get me started on Genealogy of the Holy War... if that game ever gets a remake, I'm sure there's no way we'll even be getting it. The incest actually played a big part in the plot.

... I think there actually is one dodgy couple that can happen because of some complicated set up. Something to do with Tactician and their kid. I read it on GameFAQs...

Nintendo localization team, you're so adorable, getting all worried over cousins marrying in Fire Emblem. I could just pinch your cheeks.

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